EDITORIAL: BAD MEDITATION

The following is an excerpt from the Editorial “Opening Vibe” in the Fall edition of Santa Cruz Magazine 

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If you have been around me, you will hear me say, “Two truths can exist at the same time.” For instance;

 

TRUTH: I meditate every day.

TRUTH EXISTING AT THE SAME TIME: I am terrible at meditating. 

Every day, I try focusing on a meditation clip from Mt. Wolf’s “Burgs” for 7:06 minutes (Burgs is the founder of Art of Mediation in London). I aim to quiet my mind and be fully present, but I’ve struggled with this goal for almost four years. I’m sharing my torture for this issue’s Opening Vibe with my Santa Cruz family.

(FOR THE READER: Burg’s beautiful meditation words are in “bold & parentheses” with my scattered thoughts filling out the rest.)

Now, let’s take a deep breath and meditate poorly together…

 

“If I could get you to do one thing, I would say that when you get to the point that you feel highly motivated towards keeping your virtue, you will discover pretty quickly how extraordinary a life was meant to be. We are not doing the wrong things; our minds are so messy. We don’t keep it simple.” 

 

I lose my focus quickly. I desperately want that simplicity. I awake optimistically in the morning, feeling almost unstoppable. The daily overwhelm soon clouds my best intentions.

Instead of keeping the meditation simple as instructed, I already obsess over it. I take another deep breath and push on. 

 

“And we end up complicating the life that we are living. It’s completely unnecessary, and it’s such a shame to feel stuck when you ought to be having the time of your life. It doesn’t take much to make the deepest part of us incredibly happy. Just to be here, just to appreciate it all. Appreciate being here. To feel that you’re alive. To be in touch with your heart. That’s it.” 

 

He’s right—there’s no downside to these words. They meant so much that I shared them at my best friend’s funeral last year. My meditation often stumbles here, triggered by that memory and the depth of the words. Even in Stage 4 cancer, these simple words brought comfort to my friend. Frustration, the opposite of serenity, sets in as I realize I’ve failed both Lesson 1 (Keeping It Simple) and Lesson 2 (Overcomplicating Everything).

This guy, Burgs, is relentless and never halts to give space for processing, so at this point, I either restart the whole thing, rewind a bit, or resign and move forward.  

“It takes mindfulness to come to a human life. Above that, it takes mindfulness and virtue to come to a fortunate human life. The chance to be part of this happens briefly. The invitation is not to show how inventive and imaginative you are. You are here to recognize how much you notice what you’re already part of. Just appreciate it and share it. Care about those around you and account for their welfare while looking out for your own. That’s it.” 

 

That’s it? Meditation disrupted. Yet, I always enjoy it when I step off the meditation train here. This part now reminds me of Santa Cruz Vibes Magazine and our mission. The magazine’s spirit is to showcase what we are all a part of here in Santa Cruz. This unique culture we exist in. The space we give to non-profits is our way of sharing it and abdicating space for disparate voices. When you turn the pages of each issue, I hope readers can feel how much we appreciate it all. I’ve broken the meditation, but chalk it up as a win. 

 

“And then you’ll get to the end of it, having had an awesome time and knowing that that is something you’d recommend to others.You already know this place inside, where it’s alright, and when you let the ego go, it’s not this black hole that you jump into….You know it. Why can’t we do it? 

The world is creaking under this inordinately complicated mass of humanity. When you came here, you came here with a sense of awe and wonder, dying just to see what it is all about; 

What would it be like to be down there and part of it?

You came here with a sense of wonder, but somehow, the wonder of it all wasn’t enough. We stopped wondering and instead started to wonder only about ourselves.  And in your wondering only about yourself, you forgot what you came here for, what you came to be a part of.” 

 

As we conclude, the big question remains:

“Why can’t I do it?”

My meditation makes me feel optimistic yet smaller in the grand scheme. In a previous Opening Vibe, I shared my excitement for the quarterly magazine process as a connection to the community. The magazine is doing its part, but it isn’t the answer to the big questions I am looking for. In the end, I’ll defer to my guy Burgs to close this out because I have a pretty good idea of what he would tell me;

 

“Appreciate Vibes for what it is without overcomplicating it.” 

 

TRUTH: I want to rewrite this editorial.

TRUTH EXISTING AT THE SAME TIME: Jen Poli said we go to the printers in one hour.

 

 

 

 

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Below is a link to the meditation.

Feel free to hit me up brian@scvibesmagazine with advice ( maybe we can start a bad meditation group )